feeling neglected

This is what landed on my doorstep today - my TSV! Had been hoping it would make it here before the weekend. Always nice opening up parcels, this one was choc full of lovely stuff, some very pretty brads, stickers... too much to mention really. Can't wait to get started with it. So that's two QVC parcels this week, and just got a catalogue which also has craft stuff in it.

Still got my bug... seems to have got stuck, it is neither one thing or the other, just leaving me feeling yuck. And with strange time keeping, woke up at 4.30 a.m., feeling hungry, so had breakfast, well why not! Then fell back to sleep till sevenish, felt like just turning over and going back to sleep, but nope, had to get up and get going, only I am not a morning person, if you're lucky you may get grunt out of me.. . But today needed to wash hair, it also needs cutting, why can't I just rewind it? Wash breakfast dishes, tidy up, get mum up, wash her hair, get washing on line, okay, whirly thingy... let hairdresser in to dry mum's hair (can only manage my own hair) then off to cleaning job. At least there someone makes ME a cup of coffee, actually lady who I clean for was nice, told her how yuck I was feeling, so got some sympathy. Got home to find empty flat, sis and her hubby had taken mum out, so I get some peace, sort of... place needed dusting and vacuuming, and car was in desperate need of a wash and polish. Had asked mum last night to tell sis that we needed some food for the weekend, so told her to tell them to take her to supermarket. After finishing car wondered whether to go to supermarket myself, just had this feeling... but thought, nah, mum has been nagging to go shopping. So did some tidying up in garden. Was just making myself dinner when mum arrived back, sadly no sign of any supermarket bags.... seems they just 'had' to go visit some bloody caravan place that my Bil wanted to go see... why? I mean he got a new caravan only last year! Was angry at mum, all she needed to say to them was that we needed some shopping and sis would have taken her. Then just to add insult to injury sis asks mum if she'd like a cup of tea, mum says no, she'lll wait for 'me' to make it! I hoped sister would insist, but no, she just lolled in armchair, well they'd had such a busy day... lunching, bit of caravan looking... letting dog go bonkers on beach.... nowt like my 'lazy day'. So I just sits in kitchen, refusing point blank to make a pot of tea... oh no, they didn't get the large hint.

I do actually blame my mum, she hides how things really are, always likes to put on a brave face, so everyone thinks things are hunky bloody dory when they're not. I get to see the reality, face the bad temper etc... and it is slowly pushing me to the edge. Like yesterday, my bro had promised to pick mum up from hospital, then he calls to say he can't cos he has to go to a funeral, er, funerals are not arranged at last minute, so he'd known about it for bloody days. He does have a son and a daughter, both of whom are free at the moment to do stuff.. but no, guess who gets to go pick mum up? Yep, me. I think my mum must have some special glasses on, cos at work everyone has told me how ill I look... yet mum seems oblivious. I mean what other clues do need, someone sneezing, coughing and spluttering, and looking like death warmed up?

Yes I feel neglected, just I guess, as the other millions of carers do... spare a thought for all the carers tonight, doing a thankless job and saving the country millions.