Not a nice week

Do not stand at my grave and weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Well just a few hours and it will be time for the funeral. I still can't believe that I will never see Mo again, that I won't hear her key in the door, or her cough as she began to walk up the stairs, her gentle assurance: It's only me.... and as she came in sight she would say: Hello my little mate.

You were a diamond
That sparkled and lit up the lives
of all who knew you
The smile that was never far away
The laughter that brought sunshine
Your memory will live long
Your laughter will still ring out
You're still the diamond star in my life

I feel as if life is on hold at the moment, can't go forwards and don't like to look back. Some things you expect to be a constant in your life, when they are snatched away you feel the cruel chill of a cold, cold wind. You wonder if it is worth the battle, for there seems to be so many fights that need to be fought, when one is won another appears... You know the wheel has to turn, that karma must be restored... yet it is hard, the faith, the belief is being tested and tested.

This is a crazy world, but there is hope, and it comes in the form of young people like Seb, who after a foolish and expensive prank, which put his life in danger, he has turned over a new leaf. Seb was big enough to accept the responsibility for his actions, and more, to try to repay the debt he felt he owed. We need more Sebs, we need them to be highlighted in our newspapers and on our news bulletins... let us not glorify the low lifes, those who think nothing of taking a life.

I know Mo that you are now in heaven, and that you are surrounded by children, all the children who never knew the warmth of a cuddle, the soft loving touch of a grandmother. I know you'll look after them all.

Goodnight my friend, my life was the better for knowing you.