Bummer of a week

It has been a sad week, three of my friends have lost loved ones, a father, partner and mother. All have already endured so much, you wonder where the fairness is in this world. One friend lost her mother just before Christmas, now she has lost her father. She's putting on her usual brave face, but the pain is plain to see.

Then you look around, glance at a newspaper and you see the opportunists... they make me so damn angry, how they bleat on about suffering trauma - I wonder if they know what the word actually means? Or is it the cynic in me, that sees such people seizing an opportunity, I hope they realise that by making a claim they will stuff up their state benefits. It just leaves you wondering about the justice in this world, not the legal justice, that is well stuffed, but karma - why do so many good and decent people end up suffering so much?

My neighbour who died suddenly and unexpectedly last year was a good person, she never did anyone any harm, cared for her family, and her friends and yet... why was she taken so suddenly? Why does it feel like the miscreants prosper?

I keep wondering what is next in my life, just have this overwhelming feeling that there is unfinished business that will be finished this year. We went thru so much as a family, not just last year, but it seems for the last 20 odd years, ill fortune seems to have come our way.

I have no idea how I pick myself up every day, but I do. Yes, I get annoyed with my mother's constant moaning, really annoyed. She cannot see what there is to be grateful for, if only she would, if only she would see that all she wishes to achieve is up to her entirely. Today for examply she said: when will I be able to walk normally! Well I saw her walk, unaided, two months ago, all due to the efforts of a wonderful physiotherapist, who invested so much time an effort into my mothers recovery. My mother just won't make the equation, that if she does her exercises, if she makes a real effort, then she will make some progress, that and having her other hip replaced. Which was always the plan, tho she now refuses to agree on this. But then she has forgotten so much, where we keep stuff, even day to day I have to remind her how to use the phone, where we keep things... I find it depressing, and find myself getting angry. More angry at the loneliness, that all the promise of help has so quickly evaporated. I half expected it to, but did, foolishly, think that when I suffered my own injuries that my family would come good. Boy have I been disappointed.

My mother's stubborness will lead to her demise, her left hip is shot, just about bone on bone, and the only cure is a hip replacement. If not, then it will be a wheel chair.

Nah, this is not stuff any of us wish to think about, but it happens, life happens when you are busy making your plans... never count on the furture...

Just live for today... and live for this lovely weekend.