Monday, 22 February 2016

A change of plan

Well the 'thatch' had a lick of paint,   this was the first coat, and trust me in real life it wasn't that lurid.  But having had a very long think about it, I don't like it, and I'm not just talking about the colour.   I looked around for the thatch material,  and I'm sure it would look better with that.   I've only put on a thin layer of clay, aside from the bits over the windows, and the roof is fairly heavy.   I also think I could work better with the thatch.  I checked out the how to videos,  some have used faux fur,  so I may have to experiment. 

Yesterday was a fairly stressful day,  I had my mental health assessment  - yep, on a Sunday!     It was at the new mental  health facility,  which has been built on the site of an old hospital, one I used to visit regularly in my ambulance days. 

The assessment lasted for just over an hour.    I discovered I had clinical depression,  and that I've been on the wrong medication.   I need to have a few blood tests and an ecg before I can go on to the new medication.  Coupled with that there is to be some therapy.   I did tell them abotu my first two unhappy experiences of counselling and was told that I should never have had counselling so soon after mum's death.   I felt angry about that,  I had known that the counselling wasn't working but the counsellor insisted that I continue.   I was worried that if I stopped that they'd not see me again if I needed further counselling.   I'm all for the talking therapies, but they can't just be dished out like sweets, and nor should there ever be a 'one size fits all' policy. 
I was shattered when I came home,  I'd been stressed for a few days so of course, the stress came out today.   I woke up feeling rotten this morning,  my whole body was aching,  that's what can happen if you bottle up stress.    So, needless to say, I've had a very quiet day.     I've read some stuff on clinical depression,  I had most of the symptoms and had never realised how bad my depression was.   Well you don't,  you just keep going.   And I'd still be in a stew were it not for the new doctor,  it was he who realised that I needed to be properly assessed.     Anyway I will have to be weaned off my current meds, and then start the new ones, and of course then wait to see if they work.  

I also have to make enquiries about the ground floor flat.  I saw my neighbour on Saturday, his son brought him back to the flat to pick up some clothes.   It was good to see him again, and to say a proper goodbye, although the residential home he's gone to is about ten minutes away.  He looked a lot better,  and I'm sure that having company will do him the world of good.    I'm finding just the thought of moving daunting,  although if it all works out then at least I am only going downstairs! 

Right, that's all for tonight.  Tomorrow I need to source some thatch material,  may try the faux fur method first.   Going to have an early night.   Thanks for stopping by.

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