Wednesday, 31 December 2008

And that was 2008

Just four hours of this miserable year left. I've had years when things didn't start off so great, or had a hitch in the middle, but never have I experienced one like this where it all kept on going wrong, just one thing after another, and we ain't talking minor stuff.

This time last year our neighbour had just come in to join us, just as she had done for the last few years. Then just after midnight I'd walk her back to her flat, just next door, but it had become a ritual for me to let in her new year. She'd give me a piece of coal, bread and silver coin, I'd have to welcome in the new year to each room. Frankly I just feeling like curling up in bed and ignoring New Years Eve.

But throughout this year there has been one thing that kept recurring, acts of kindness. They'd come from friends, or total strangers. Other surprises too, like getting back together with some old friends, that felt really good.

Have no idea what 2009 has in store, not sure if I would want to. I am about to venture down a new path.

Happy New Year to you all, may be full of laughter, graced by love and peace, and may whatever dreams you hold come true.

All the best for the coming year.

Tuesday, 30 December 2008

Yay, Santa came!

Well okay, a courier came this morning with my Xmas present! Yippee... summat to do! It was the TSV from last week, glad I listened to my inner voice and got it when I did, as it sold out pretty fast. It is a fab kit, but then it is Kanban and they are top rate.

What I like about it tho is that it has loads in it, so you can quickly make up the cards as they are, or do your own thing. Like I did with these two, used a trifold card as the base, then mixed and matched some toppers and card.

Going to make up the whole lot, plus what I can make and have a bash at a craft fair. Well needs must, I can't do my cleaning job, and need to find some extra cash. I want 2009 to be a positive year, I know I've got some negative stuff to come, mainly involving my health, the knee and it would appear I have osteporosis. Just got called to the fracture reduction clinic... it is the follow up to my bone scan. Anyway, time I think to start getting serious in the crafting department, had plans for this year, but too much got in the way.

Also want to learn reiki properly, a friend gave me some on my weekend away, I felt so much better afterwards. Then I was on Amazon buying some crissie pressies and needed to spend another £5 to qualify for free shipping, so into my mind popped the word: Reiki. So bought a book about it. Funny I was reading it the other night and it said you don't find reiki, it finds you. Seems like it has.

And today was a nice day. My TSV arrived first thing, then my mechanic brought my car back and he'd washed it! Well got the junior to give it a wash and brush up, even vacummed inside. Next my neighbour asked if I drank white wine, silly question! Next thing he pops back inside and comes back with bottle of wine that someone had given him, he doesn't drink the stuff, so he gave it to me. I've asked the angels to protect my little car.... so nice to have her back in her parking slot and looking all shiny.

Well one more day of this blasted year to go... can't wait to see the back of it.

Monday, 29 December 2008


It's like an ice box here! Looked outside first thing this morning and it looked like we'd had a layer of snow, but it was just frost.

My little car got taken away to be repaired. Felt sorry for the mechanic who got the task of driving it back to garage, he must have been frozen! Car hadn't been de-iced, well I couldn't get out to do it as it was so slippy. I did have some de-icer luckily. I usually just scrape the ice off, that way you don't get all steamed up inside. Bad news came later - the cost - £100. All cos the rear window is bonded, so has to be put in by a proper car glass firm. If I ever set eyes on the little toe rag that smashed it he will regret it big time. I wonder if it would do some good to get people to go into schools and talk to young people, those who have been victims of mindless acts of vandalism, just so that the kids can realise what harm they do. They just don't get it, or think that the insurance will cover it, well it won't! My excess is £200, so there is no point in me making a claim, had the idiot busted my windscreen I could have got it fixed for 60 quid, that being my part of the bill for repair.

And I am sick of kids saying that they are bored... well so was I. But I didn't go around damaging other people's property. I see and experience the disrespect at work from young people, few have any real reason for their behaviour, one who is particularly obnoxious is so because he is a spoiled brat.

Was hoping my TSV would turn up today, naturally it didn't! I am sick of QVC's silly e-mails telling me to 'make space' as my 'order is on its way'. You get plenty of time to make space for it, as it comes via snail mail.... the slowest in the land. Just wanted something to do as I sat and fretted over car. Well fretted over how much it was going to cost me. But TSV was a no show.

And to add insult to injury got my Xmas pressies today, yes... there is a long explanation as to why I am only now getting my pressies, and it is far too long! Two were fab, gift vouchers for Hobbycraft, a bottle of wine... and my sister bought me a... watch! Eh? I have a very good watch, a rotary, bought it many moons ago with some back pay, cost me a fortune. It is a man's watch, but I like larger watches, hate silly women's watches, and that is exactly what my sister bought me. I feel ungrateful, but it will just lay in a drawer. Last year she asked me what I wanted, and I said to just buy me craft vouchers. I am not difficult to buy for, it is easy, I craft, so therefore anything crafty or craft vouchers will be gladly received. My SiL bought me a silly small handbag... no use to me whatsoever.

Well hopefully TSV may make an appearance tomorrow, car will be back... now can I legally wire it up so that it delivers a huge electric shock to those giving it any unwanted attention? I tell you, I would if I could.

Sunday, 28 December 2008

May they rot in hell

As a young kid I knew some scallies, but they were harmless, the mischeif they got up to hurt no-one. More usually they'd end up doing themselves some damage, the odd twisted ankle, sprained wrist. But today's youth, well some of them... I despair of. All they wish to do is get drunk, then go smash things. They never once think about the harm and heartbreak they cause.

If I ever learn who smashed my rear car window he'd better be fleet of foot, cos I will do him severe damage. I just wish him one thing: karma.

It was not the start to the day I wanted. I'd again slept in, after a really strange dream. Keep on having very vivid dreams. Bleary eyed I went to the kitchen, looked down to check car, as always do and saw the rear window had been smashed. I couldn't sum up any feelings, just felt numb. It was just more evidence of this crap year. How I long for 2008 to be over. I managed to get some bin bags to put over it, not a very good job, but then I was balancing on one leg. My neighbour came out, and of course does he think of offering to help me... no. He's a nice chap, and if asked he will do stuff, but you have to ask! I mean it was bloody obvious I needed help! Frankly I don't give a damn what happens now... bring it on, I am at the bottom of the ladder, couldn't get any lower.

I managed to finish off the page I'd been working on since Boxing Day, of Maureen, my neighbour, friend and soul mate. God how I needed her this morning! Had no idea what to do, so just let the page evolve. Chose some plain pink card, then found some spring paper, she was born in April. I tore that to act as a mat, then found my flowers, so went bonkers, added some vellum butterflies, then some silver strings of butterflies, added the ribbon and for no reason other than I wanted to, added some eyelets... big bite is great for setting the small ones, far better than the cropadile. Felt sad making the page. Will have to show it to Pam, and ask if she'd like me to make her a scrapbook of her mum, it would be my great pleasure.

Feel like getting drunk... but don't like hangovers! And need to be up early tomorrow to get my mechanic to come get car and repair it.

Thursday, 25 December 2008

So that was Christmas

I've had a nice day. Had a lie in, a lovely creamy bowl of porridge to start the day. A few visitors, then sis came and whisked mum off leaving me on my own... BLISSSSSSSS!

Nowt like some peace and quiet. No this is not bah humbug, this is what I wished for. Want some to myself, just to chill out. I made my dinner, well it is just a Sunday lunch with a cracker. Why does everyone make such a song and dance of it? I bunged in me turkey breast, then the roasties, 20 mins to go, in went the stuffing and parsnips, 15 mins put chipolatas under grill, boiled water for sprouts.... and sat down to my meal at 1.45. And very nice it was... washed up and then had Xmas pud. Then watched the Queen. I know she means well but... dunno, it never rings totally true.

Been quiet round here, well a few drunks staggered past an hour ago, singing Jingle Bells... but neighbours all seem to be somewhere else. I just had a very lazy day, been watching a few films, and just seen Wallace and Gromit. And munching on chipolatas, quite like cold sausages... well tis only for one day of the year.

Now off for a nice cuppa and perhaps a mince pie.

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

Happy Christmas!

For all the young at heart there is just one more sleep to go. For the rest of us... the madness will soon be over. Our local radio phone in seemed to have attracted all the bah humbug types today, one chap going on about it not being a Christian festival... that it was a pagan festival, well he was right, just that the Church decided that if they couldn't beat em (the pagans) they may as well attach their celebrations to the pagan festival. But who cares, and who needs nit pickers?

Went out for lunch, roads were bonkers, but pub was quiet. Thought it would be busier, had a lovely beef and ale pie. On way back we stopped off at garden centre to see if we could pick up a plant... but they had nowt left! The place was deserted, save for one sad looking chap with a santa hat on.

Just been tracking santa here with my young nephew, who astutely asked if Santa would be okay over Afghanistan... sad really for such a young boy to think like that. I said he would, that everyone likes Santa. Then Santa paused for 4 minutes, nephew wondered what he was doing, so I says that he was just giving the reindeer some carrots to keep them going. Phew. Nephew has now gone home, to bother his dad all evening!

So that's it, build up is over, anti climax is to come. Christmas is what we make it... so make it a wonderful day. The merriest and most magical of Christmases to you all...

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

That was a BIG mistake!

Going to the supermarket! Think the world and his wife was there today. You'd think the shops were going to be closed for weeks the way people were loading up their trolleys! One woman had 3 kids, she had a trolley and so did two of the children - I mean was she really going to be feeding the five thousand? I heard a member of staff say to a newbie: you think this is mad, wait till tomorrow!

I just needed the essentials, bread, milk etc, plus my mini turkey breast! Managed to find one, so I will be having a proper Christmas lunch. And some wine... naturally. Took me ages to get thru checkout... chose the worlds slowest checkout man... he was nice, but just very slow. Thought it would be ages before I got out of car park, but traffic was moving nicely.

Well settled for just the TSV yesterday, nothing else whetted my appetite. Was mulling over the clear album, still am. Figure they must be going to have a craft clear out, so much yesterday was old stuff, they must want rid of it. Hopefully they'll start next week so may get some bargains.

Got a shock at ATM, more money than I'd reckoned for in account. Funny tho, when you have dosh you can never find what to buy, when you've not got a red cent you see all sorts that you just have to have. Did get stuck behind idiot who was trying umpteen cards... obviously some weren't working as he moved to the other machine, failed to see his logic as it was same ATM... so if card wasn't going to work in first why would it in the second machine? Oh, it didn't...

Well time for a cuppa, just got 3 pressies to wrap up, made cards today for my gifts of money to family... just quickie cards. Was going to be all fancy and then decided life was too short.

Monday, 22 December 2008

Funny old day

Well was awake at 1 a.m. and caught some of the QVC launch, and the TSV, but was too sleepy to concentrate. Woke up at 4.30, had a better look, had a cupp and then went back to sleep till 9 a.m. Dunno what is going on, suddenly I'm sleeping in, which is very unme. Carried on dithering about TSV, then decided to order it, saw a lot more of it and just made a snap decision. It will be mum's Xmas present to me, then she said I could order one more thing, up to 20 quid. So now trying to see something else that grabs me. Also want to buy me a pressie from me. Well you have to, don't you?

Have now uploaded page i was making yesterday. I knew it needed something, as in spiders, but had to find a gif file first, I then converted it to a jpeg and uploaded it to the robo. I found two templates, and preferred the other one, but the robo didn't! It chomped up both attempts, but then cut the smaller spider with no probs. I chose some dark blue paper, drew some webs on the corners, wanted to use some blue mirri card to mat the photo, but didn't have enough :-( So cut four strips, made a frame, then had the idea of sewing a web in opposite corners, put that on some glittery black card, and then edged that with some DST and glitter, then added the spiders. Will recolour them with a stamp pad, silver I think. Got more of La Princess, so will be able to make about four pages.

Will have to face supermarket tomorrow... no slots available for home delivery! Luckily we don't need much, and we have the stair lift - phew. Got to deliver one present and card tomorrow.

Sunday, 21 December 2008

If only I were organised...

But I ain't, so there is no photo... there was supposed to be one, a new card. However, new card is in kitchen, I am in bedroom, knee is sore so... will post it tomorrow - but it will be worth the wait!

Got back to some crafting today. Had to make a christmas card, last one! But had been waiting for a kit to arrive from a friend, a kanban kit, art deco... gorgeeeeous! Just what I wanted for the intended recipient. Tho it was dead simple to make, just press out stuff, bit of silicon glue... but did add more glitter glue and some jewels.

Also did some scrapping. Found photo of brother with grandson, both looking up at La Princess, the big spider that graced our city for a few days. Tis a lovely photo, just need to finish off page. Once again it sort of just evolved, had in mind some spiders webs, which i did with a silver glitter pen, but then made a frame for photo using blue mirri card, had the then daft idea to use some thread to make two more webs... but it worked. Once I have figured out what is missing, so I can finish it, will post a pic. Not sure what it needs, but it needs summat. Got some other photos of the spider, so I'll do a two page spread.

Nice to be crafting again. Seems like ages since I sat down and did any, well anything other than Xmas card making. Looking forward to tonights launch of Craft day, just hope the TSV whets my appetite.

And it is the 20th anniversary of Lockerbie... I clearly remember that night, was half watching TV when the news flash came on and they said about the crash, then came the pictures. A terrible thing... and it is my nephew's birthday, I am sure he is by now six sheets to the wind...

Well see you all tomorrow, hopefully i will have chosen my Christmas presents from the craft day!

Saturday, 20 December 2008


Ugh, what a day, very grey, very misty and mizzly... that horrible fine rain that just keeps on a coming down. Yuck.

Had nice surprise in post, in fact it was postie who woke me up at 9.40 a.m., thank goodness for intercoms... brilliant, just press a button and door opens. Well beats hobbling down stairs. Didn't think I'd slept that long, tho I was really warm and snug.

But wondered where to go, well within my limited driving distance. Decided to risk driving to Southport, to Dobbies, they have a smallish (very small) craft section. It is a garden centre, so thought it might be all Chrismassy. Which is was, well sort of, tho they seemed to be in the process of dismantling most of it! Surely they could leave it till after Xmas? I at last found my advent candle.... too late for this year, but will put it away for next. I prefer the candles to the calendars, something nice about burning a candle for a few minutes every day. Dragged mum with me, she wasn't going to go, then said she would, then said she would just sit in car... managed to persuade her to have a walk round Dobbies. It was a bit like pulling teeth, but I knew that if she didn't get out today then she'd only start moaning tomorrow about being stuck in.

But craft section was even smaller than I remembered, hardly anything in it, well decent craft stuff. It is somewhat half hearted on their part, can't help thinking that if they got a proper craft shop going it would do well. So I managed to buy - some card stock! That was it, nothing else worth having. Did get some other non crafty bits, a pressie for my nephew, a pair of night vision goggles... I'm sure he'll have fun with those and annoy his dad! Plus two other presents. At till I found I had somehow managed to spend £45! Drive home was nice, it was getting dark, so people had begun to switch on their tree lights and other decorations, so we did some Xmas lights spotting... tho there isn't as many as last year. But it does feel magical, seeing the lights in windows... my favourite is just to see a Xmas tree with plain white lights... just twinkling gently.

Oh well there is a craft day on QVC starting at midnight tomorrow. Will have fun, mum has said I can go bonkers, she is paying. Yeah I know it won't arrive for Xmas, but it will come between the Day and New year, so I'll have lots to look forward to. Xmas is usually a let down anyway, sorry but it is. I always find the day to be an anti climax, all that build up and... dunno, like we are waiting for something big to happen and it just never does. Oh it does for the children, so maybe it is just us cynical adults.

My favourite Xmas song is: Greg Lake's 'I believe in Father Christmas' , seems to sum it all up beautifully.

Friday, 19 December 2008

The not so gentle sound of water lapping

Think I've just experienced the world's slowest plumber.... he was a nice enough chap, very tidy, didn't leave a mess but... oh boy.... did he outstay his welcome! Or maybe it is us, we attract the freaky workmen, chap that came to fit intercom was very, very weird...

But back to plumber. He came last week to examine damage to bath, a small horseshoe sized crack... and then said he'd be back today to fix it. Fair enough... so today he arrives, just after 9.30, to measure bath... er why didn't he do that last week? So he measures bath, then goes off to get it. Comes back, now he starts to turn off water, only he can't find right stop cock... or so he says. I leave at 10.30 for an appointment. Come back at noon, see waterboard at work in street, water gushing from mains... ooer, what has plumber done? Do I want to know, should i just do a u turn and go off for a drive? So tentatively I come back into flat, phew, all is normal, well except we have no bath and no plumber. Seems first new bath had scratch in it, which he didn't see till he'd fitted it, so he had to unfit it and take it back to get new one. He finally arrives back at 1.50, and so begins much banging, which went on and on and on and on, then a break, then he mucks around with fitting new valve on stop cock, but bath isn't fully in place and bathroom is still in a mess and we have no water... and I need the loo! 2.45, more banging, finally he switches back on water, but still hasn't put bathroom back together, but I do NEED the loo... think at that point he got the message, that he was no longer welcome. Oh we had offered him a cuppa, and a sandwich, which he turned down. But 6 hours to fit a bath! Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure it was the POETS day syndrome... that he was stretching it out so that it would be his one and only job for day. Oh it is a council flat, and so was being repaired by firm given contract to do all repairs, and boy do their workmen make a meal of things. So new bath is fitted, well sort of, he had the cheek to ask me to get the wide mastik tape to finish off the fitting... er, why should I be doing that! Well I won't, not in any fit state to do any DIY, so bro will.

Hey ho, a craft day to look forward to on Monday... bliss... mum has agreed to buy me anything I like from it. Wonder what the TSV will be? Hope it is something I absolutely desire. Had to think practically for the last few craft days, so have missed out on indulgences.

Well hope to get back to some crafting. My resolution for next year is to go back to a crafting blog... just can't wait for this ruddy year to come to an end.

Thursday, 18 December 2008

Goodnight Mo

Yesterday was one of those bright sunny days, with a cold wind blowing. I'd not been inside the church, but it was beautiful inside, the family had put together a memorial to Mo, with a lovely photo on the front, I looked at it and felt the tears beginning to fall.
The service was lovely, the priest had spent some time with the family, which was nice as Mo wasn't a Catholic, so he was able to speak warmly about her, and put in a few funny stories. The church was packed, everyone was crying, even the men. Think it was testimony to how loved she was.

Today I felt really down, had a physio appointment and half felt like cancelling it. Just couldn't be bothered, don't feel like I am getting anywhere. Couldn't get to bend beyond 73 per cent! So I'm now going backwards, physio asked me to walk without crutch, I'm not too bad indoors, but haven't the confidence to do without it outside. Just feel as if I've now hit the brick wall, that there won't be much more progress. After the appointment I sat in the car, and just felt like crying... Would like to cancel Christmas. Can't work up any enthusiasm for it at all. Mum is still convincing herself that I will change my mind and agree to go to with her to my sisters.... no way! Done it for the last two years, and I said to mum that I didn't want this to be how we spent Christmas from now on, of course she said it would only be now and again - yeah, right. I'm off the hook obligation wise as my neice has hot footed it to Goa for Xmas.

I know it sounds odd not to want to be with family over Xmas, I do, but on my own terms and not holed up somewhere where I don't want to be. I like to slob about, get the old track suit joggers on, sweat shirt and just chill... and you can't do that, there is nowhere to sit, there is nowhere to go to escape for some peace and quiet. Plus I can't drive that far, so would be stuck waiting for someone to bring me back, and of course have to put up with the ususal: oh stay a bit longer... I'm not in the mood for a festive gathering, and also want some time away from mum, and she needs time away from me! So I have my day planned, got in my food, I will have a proper Xmas dinner, all the trimmings, got my pud, looked at what is on the telly... will get out the craft stuff and just enjoy myself.

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Not a nice week

Do not stand at my grave and weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Well just a few hours and it will be time for the funeral. I still can't believe that I will never see Mo again, that I won't hear her key in the door, or her cough as she began to walk up the stairs, her gentle assurance: It's only me.... and as she came in sight she would say: Hello my little mate.

You were a diamond
That sparkled and lit up the lives
of all who knew you
The smile that was never far away
The laughter that brought sunshine
Your memory will live long
Your laughter will still ring out
You're still the diamond star in my life

I feel as if life is on hold at the moment, can't go forwards and don't like to look back. Some things you expect to be a constant in your life, when they are snatched away you feel the cruel chill of a cold, cold wind. You wonder if it is worth the battle, for there seems to be so many fights that need to be fought, when one is won another appears... You know the wheel has to turn, that karma must be restored... yet it is hard, the faith, the belief is being tested and tested.

This is a crazy world, but there is hope, and it comes in the form of young people like Seb, who after a foolish and expensive prank, which put his life in danger, he has turned over a new leaf. Seb was big enough to accept the responsibility for his actions, and more, to try to repay the debt he felt he owed. We need more Sebs, we need them to be highlighted in our newspapers and on our news bulletins... let us not glorify the low lifes, those who think nothing of taking a life.

I know Mo that you are now in heaven, and that you are surrounded by children, all the children who never knew the warmth of a cuddle, the soft loving touch of a grandmother. I know you'll look after them all.

Goodnight my friend, my life was the better for knowing you.

Friday, 12 December 2008

wind must have changed!

From being a moaning minny my mum was transformed into Mother Teresa! Dunno whether she'd had a think about what she'd been saying, and about how she'd been behaving, but today she was much nicer to be around.

Good thing as my poorly knee was very sore, the worst its been since accident. The pain is all where the wires and pins are. Mind you I've been pretty busy all week, doing a lot of walking. So today was slob day, didn't budge a toe over door.

Found out when funeral is, next Wednesday, the day I had appointment at hospital, so changed it, receptionist asked why I wanted to cancel... so I said, she was very sympathetic, then she asked if I could manage to go on Monday afternoon. Suits me, get the thing out of the way, it is a bone scan, just cos I bust two limbs they need to know if I've got osteporosis. I doubt if I have, fell over last year and just bounced. Still since they are offering. Also got physio appointment and then OH appointment at work. So a busy week. Frankly don't feel like going to any of them.

Really gloomy day as well weather wise, typical, we get the chance to see meteor shows and a big full moon and so of course it is cloudy!

Had a dabble day, that is just dabbled with crafty stuff, doing a bit of this and a bit of that. Waiting on a kit coming from a friend, hope it comes soon!

Have a good weekend, and stay warm

Thursday, 11 December 2008

it didn't take long...

For me to feel like losing my temper with my mother. I could hardly believe what I was hearing tonight, my mum supposedly muttering to herself saying: can't wait to go away, I'll enjoy being waited on, being pampered! Oh what a cruel daughter I am, leaving my mother to peel 3 potatoes, empty a pack of pre-prepared veg into pan and put in a couple of frozen toad in the holes into oven. Anyone would have thought she was making the meal from scratch, and believed me to be one idle so and so. Well yesterday after putting up the decorations, I then dusted everywhere, vacuumed flat, and did a bit of carpet cleaning, just spot cleaning, about all I could manage on one crutch. So flat looked really nice. I'd cooked dinner night before, and night before that. I'd been out getting a few bits of food shopping, even tho walking is ruddy painful, had posted her cards, my cards, put out a few bags of rubbish, meaning several trips up and downstairs, ordered big shop on line, and ordered some clothes on line for her. So you can see how utterly selfish I am. Oh, I also put her walker thing together! Yep, on one crutch, opened up box, managed to get walker out, found other parts and put it all together for her so it would be a nice surprise. Did I get a thankyou, did I hell. Big bro turns up today, says he was thinking about taking her shopping... and suddenly she is oh so grateful... what am I, a mug?

See this is where my neighbour came in, she would see what was happening, and when I wasn't around gently remind mum just how much I was doing. Anyone would think all I had was a twisted ankle, in fact I have a pulped kneecap. No matter what I do, how many exercises I try I just can't get it to work properly. I thought by now that I'd be able to walk to high street, usualy a 15 min walk, in healthier times. Today I managed to get to corner shop, was thinking that perhaps I could try walking to high street tomorrow, but on way back knee began reminding me why such thoughts were silly. It is like walking with a load of glass in your shoe, every step is painful. And I come back to a moaning mum... grrrrrrr.

I personally can't wait for her to go to my sister's, so I can have some peace and quiet.

Sorry it has been such a moan... I did start to put together another exploding box, very involved this time, lots of use of peel offs and gel pens. Got another busy day tomorrow. Tho may just head towards a craft shop...

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

A tribute

This is to my wonderful neighbour and friend Maureen, who sadly passed away this morning. She has been my neighbour for some 20 odd years, and has been a bloody good neighbour. We've shared much laughter and a few tears.

This year she became my guardian angel when mum's hip operation went badly wrong. Nothing was too much trouble for her, she kept my spirits up and was a listening ear when I needed one. One day I came home and found a bunch of flowers, I assumed they were for mum, then I read the card, they were for me, from Maureen. She called me her 'little mate' We always had a laugh on the drive up to the hospital, and lit up our ciggies in unison on the way home. When mum came home from hospital Maureen was there, helping me and chivvying mum to get going, she was the one who got her outside, who helped to get her walking, and got all the stuff sorted out from social services. I really don't know how I would have coped without her, she was my rock.

Then when I had my accident she was there again, looking after mum, and then me when I came home. She always went that extra mile for us.

Maureen, I know you'll be watching over me, thank you for all you did... you will never know how indebted I will be to you. Goodnight my friend...

Monday, 8 December 2008

Taken as red...

Yeah, tis a bit 'red' on here... maybe I should put up a warning to wear a pair of sunnies! Well it is staying like this, a blog should be suitably decked for Xmas.

Bit of a blah day, tho encountered two dizzy types that made me laugh... first was at Halfords, had to go get an new ariel for car (some dimwit plonker thinks it funny to steal car ariels... sad or what?). At cash desk encountered a very dizzy young lady, who was delightful in her dizziness, she made me smile, which is just what I needed. Did I care that the transaction took a bit longer than necessary, nope, cos she was just so nice and so friendly. Then later on had to ring up mobility firm about a problem with order, got another young dizzy type who made me giggle, she kept on apologising, and I kept on telling her not to worry. I knew the order would run into problems, as would another order, my credit card company sent me new card that starts in Jan 09, but assured me I could activate it now and use it... oh yeah.... I think NOT!

Was hoping to bring more good news of neighbour, but sadly I can't. In fact news is grim, her daughter dropped by tonight, sadly the news wasn't good at all and came as a shock. Neighbour had been, or seemed to be doing well over weekend, but doctors today said they'd done all they could, tho she is still in ITU so they must think there is some hope, they wouldn't waste a bed on her otherwise. We're all praying like mad... not sure how mum will be affected if the worst comes to the worst... so that can't happen, there has to be some justice in this lousy world and all I am asking for is for my neighbour to come home safe and sound.

Getting a bit cold in here, can't cope with weather swings, one minute it is mild and raining, next it is icicle weather! Mother Nature must be going thru her menopause, well it would explain 'global warming', just think of them as hot flushes!

Sunday, 7 December 2008

A sunny Sunday

Well the weather did not match my mood. I kept on thinking back to last weekend, similar weather, but different place. Funny to think last Sunday I woke up at 6 a.m., and was trying to sneak round room to get to loo, hard to do when you are hobbling and on a crutch, then my friend shocked me with a: Good morning! So we had a cuppa, other friend roused, asked what time it was, when told she groaned and rolled over! We had our cuppa and tried to snooze, but fat chance, we were both awake. I peeked out of window, and saw the hard frost, brrrrr.... and got back into bed. So we nattered until it was a decent time to get up, then we went off for breakfast, a full English... delicious! It was all there, tomatoes, beans, mushrooms, eggs, bacon, sausages... hang on, there was no black pudding! Plus toast, tea and if we wished a selection of fresh fruit and cereal. And we enjoyed a very hearty breakfast.

This morning was a tad different, same wake up time, 6 a.m., but just me, wondering whether to get up or roll over... got up and made some porridge. Just needed something comforting. Still worrying over neighbour, fortunately the news was good, she had a peaceful night, plus she'd also had a small grumble... a sure sign that you feel better when you start moaning. They're keeping her in ITU as a precaution, another good sign, tho it is the best place for her to be.

Just got feedback form from workshop, mmm, intriguing questions, tho I never know how to fill these darn things in. I know our training lot do act on the feedback forms, but there is always that niggling feeling... I enjoyed the workshop, but as usual once there is some distance between the event then you can judge things a bit more clearly. Just felt there was too much time spent on one thing, and that the workshop was pretty much a free flow event. That is it was left up to leader as to what happened, we had no idea as no timetable or agenda had been handed out. Feel a bit miffed, on second day leader of workshop singled me out and said she wanted to work with me one on one, I felt flattered, but was also looking forward to it. Sadly it didn't happen... and I hate that! I hate being told to expect something and then it never happens. If I promise to do something then I do my damndest to fulfil my promise, and if I can't then I feel thoroughly rotten.

Now to photo. I picked up a mag in Smiths, Vintage Cards, bit like LMC, it came with nearly all the stuff to make a few vintage Xmas cards. So settled down today and made a few of them. A lot of the kit will make great ATCs. But enjoyed making the vintage look, tho it ain't usually my thing.

Hope you all had a good weekend.

Saturday, 6 December 2008

Prayers please

I am, really and truly sick of this damn year. I can't remember such a terrible year. I was having a mini lie in when the phone rang, it was my neighbour's daughter who had to break the awful news that her mum is critically ill in hospital. She has septicaemia caused by an abcess. My neighbour is a lovely, lovely lady, with a heart of gold, who has been helping us for months now. She really does not deserve this. Why does this happen to good people? Why do the rotten pieces of low life always manage to get away with things?

On a slightly upbeat note, just heard that my neighbour is in a stable condition, so we're just praying that she can get thru the next 24 hours. I knew something terrible was on the cards, had a horrible dream the other night, then I woke up, as I was just settling back to sleep I heard someone cry out... it wasn't coming from outside, I knew it was in the room and that it meant something bad.

Mum said she wanted to get out, so I offered to take her to the local garden centre, which usually has a fantastic Christmas display. Then as it got near the time to leave, mum slipped into self pity mode. Well I wasn't going to have that, so told her to get ready as she was going out! She enjoyed herself in the end, and managed to get a few Xmas presents, so that made her feel better. Hopefully when she gets her walker she'll feel a bit more confident about going out.

Wouldn't mind hitting rewind and going back 7 days, this time last week was about to go off for a nice curry. And I'd had a really good day in the workshop.

Hope your weekend so far has been good.

Friday, 5 December 2008


Well blogger is playing up, so there may or may not be a pic... ain't technology wonderful? Mmmm, got holiday blues. Just chatted to a friend, we both agree we wish we were starting our weekend over again.... sigh. Had such a positive time, tho still mulling over the weekend, there was just so much to drink in.

Today was, well today. Had physio appointment, me and physio tried to join forces and get my knee to bend beyond 80 degrees... fat chance! It wouldn't budge, sadly doc seems to be right, my knee is stuck at 80... Physio said to me: shall we try, I consider things, and knee was already complaining... so said: not unless you want a black eye. So we stopped. Not even with knee hanging loose, so to speak, will it budge beyond 80. Felt fed up. Toddled off to local shopping precinct, horrible place, no seriously, it is! Did find a nice mag in WH Smiths, vintage Xmas cards, so grabbed it... will keep me amused tomorrow. Nowt in Woolies, what 50 per cent sale! The nerve, most of the stuff was only 10 per cent, not that I hung around long... beginning to wonder if folk are blind... I am on a bloody crutch and am walking somewhat very slowly... so you would think people would be helpful, well most are, some are just plain ignorant. The ignoramuses I tend to give what for, as in, I ain't budging, I am the one on a crutch, so go figure!

Just ordered mum a walker, one of those 3 wheeled things, which should help her get out and about.

Sorry, no pic, blogger ain't playing fair tonight. But have now managed to update blog list... will continue with it tomorrow.

Have a good weekend all.

Thursday, 4 December 2008

Decked my blog!

Since I can't dec the flat then thought I'd dec my blog. Which means I'll have to put on all my favourite blogs again.... bother! But at least is is now festive looking.

Been a yuck day weather wise, cold, rain, sleet, hail... and blowing a gale. But no snow. Good thing really, can't cope with slippy stuff.

But got some things to look forward to, Xmas dinner with workmates next week, the not so nice stuff: got to go for a bone scan! Seems cos I fractured my knee I am thought to be at risk of osteoporosis, dumb really cos the patella isn't a bone, but cartilage. Still it will give someone something to do I guess. Have also settled xmas arrangements, I am staying in my own home, and knickers to everyone. I've had to appease family for long enough, thought it high time I put my good foot down firmly. So I will be here, enjoying peace and quiet, eating when I like, drinking what I like and generally just doing what I like! They all think i am being unsociable, but frankly I don't much care, I've had it with being sociable in strange houses for the last 20 odd years... I mean why do we have to always up sticks and get on the move?

Finished off some cards, made a stash of emergency Xmas cards... so now have the daunting task of writing the list out.... sigh... :-( Will get stamps tomorrow and try my bestest t get them all on their way.

Pic is of hotel I stayed in at the weekend... the frost has sort of lifted, the day before it looked like an Xmas scene.

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Oooh, there's snow on the way!

Well snow, ice do not agree with a busted knee and a crutch! So I'm housebound. Looked out on my little red car today from kitchen, she was covered in ice... as was pavement... so no hope of me getting anywhere near her. Was same at weekend, hotel had gritted main pathways, but still left some rather slippy. Actually I only had one gripe, they had a disabled access door, which had a push button on inside to open door, fine, but no button on outside and doors were rather heavy to push open! Plus outside was decked, so it was ultra slippy with the frosty conditions.

So now awaiting the snow, if we get any. We don't get snow here very often, conditions have to be very bad. And the forecast is usually wrong for our neck of the woods. So I will see what I wake up to in the morning. Hoping that any snow will all be gone by lunchtime. Yes it looks very pretty, but it is hazardous. Okay if you have two fully working legs, I've only got one functioning leg, other just refuses to stop complaining. Busted knee leg is also very lumpy, and not at all nice to touch... loose screw is visible for all to see, am I expected to put up with that? I think not. They can either tighten it or take it out.

Had a Christmas card blitz today, sat down at 2pm and went at it, had 12 cards to make, all involving stamping and embossing, plus matting and layering. Got myself organised, cut out the mats, did the stamping, embossing.... then put all 12 cards together, then made another 6 cards, for emergencies... will be making more tomorrow. Some still need some colouring in. Was knackered by end of it all. And covered in red, green and silver embossing powder... very sparkly!

Think I will be finishing off all cards tomorrow, want to get ont with other stuff, have more exploding boxes to make... and want to move onto my scrapbooking. Now need to locate tall bloke who is willing to go into loft and get out decs... any offers?

Monday, 1 December 2008

Ohm shanti...

Yup, I'm back, and am serioulsy al dente... ! Well four sessions of heavy mediation does that to you, plus a bit of one on one working, a tapping session, nooooo, not as it tap dancing! As in tapping, EFT for those familiar with the UK version. This tho is a US take on it. But it still works, well with perseverance. Well it was a weekend away, it was my only true holiday of the year, and it was also a spiritual retreat of sorts.

It was two days of workshops, Quiet the Mind, Open the Heart, as taught by Lindsay Wagner (forget bionic woman). Lindsay has studied many religions, therapies over the years, and has put them all together in her own program. It is non denominational, I think all that is asked is that you come along with an open mind. We did get thru a lot of stuff, guided meditations, a deeksha giving... and an awful lot of love and much, much laughter. It was a great place to be, especially if, like me, you have had one crappy year. It is hard for me to be dependent, but being currently (and I hope, temporarily) disabled, I had to learn to accept help from others, that was willing offered on every level. Sadly my knee pain got too much for me to participate in the last event, think it was the cold that got to it, and boy was it COLD! So had to go warm it up on a radiator.

But it was a great weekend for chilling out. And in the literal sense. The hotel was fabulous, lovely staff, very friendly, nothing was too much trouble for them. Tho have to say, there is nowt like 'home sweet home'! We did manage to get out for a curry, and tho we had to wait a long time for the meal, it was worth the wait! And two fab pizzas! Well we made it up, me and my mate went along with the chicken bit, but we wanted mushrooms, our friend wanted sweetcorn, so we had it all on it, and it was deeeelish.

So I am now chilled, have learned a lot, done a lot of healing, and hope to continue. There is a lot to put into practice, but it will be worth the effort. I feel positive, even tho I came home to some bad news, our angel, our neighbour who has put herself out to help us, is now in hospital with an infection (a speedy recovery to her) and to the news of a death, a friend's mother sadly passed away at the weekend. My own health situation is much as it was, if not a tad worse, screw is even looser... - yikes! But hey, whatever life chucks at me... I will try to be ready for it.

I also have: two pairs of very comical socks, a fez and some oils to rub on my knee... so the fez will make me laugh, the oil is heavenly to use and the socks make me giggle. Who could want for me.

Yeah, life sucks, it really does, but someone, somewhere is a heck of a lot worse of than you - trust me... they really are.

Hope you all had a great weekend. I know I did.