And that was April

Someone has definitely got their finger on fast forward for this year, it seems to be flying by. Tho on this day last year time seemed to drag, this was when my mum nearly died after her operation. Boy was that a long night.

I didn't think one year on that I would be off work with a knackered knee. Life is certainly full of surprises. I also feel a little sad, as Mo was still here, in fact she was doing a brilliant job of supporting me, if I could have one wish granted it would be to have her back.

Designated today as a lazy day, I've had to be somewhere or go somewhere all week. Or be doing something housework wise, or waiting for people to turn up to assess something. And all early in the morning. So it was a relief today to wake up and know there was nowhere to go or be.

Not so much as a sniff at crafting, do have to do a repair job on mum's birthday box. Must be the card I used, but it has come unstuck, so will have to make a new lid for it tomorrow. Or I have a faulty batch of sticky dots! Noticed that on another box a few things had come unstuck, fixed them with my photo glue. And there is craft day to look forward to, plus the scrapbook slot tomorrow.

Stop my life i wish to get off...

I think I'd like the option of pause, rewind or fast forward on my life. Think I may well go for fast rforward right now. Have this horrible sense of deja vu, this time last year I had left mum at the ward, and tomorrow was when it all started to go pear shaped. Well guess what, yep, it is all happening over again. The surgeon is preparing her for the worst, that the infection is in the implant, and that means it has to come out. I knew he was jollying her along cos of her birthday, and now we're into 'preparation' mode, getting her ready for the inevitable.

And I do so love my unhelpful family. I spoke to my sister, suggested that she take mum for the weekend, to stop mum sitting here brooding, and sis has a nice house and a nice garden. And what do I hear, no eagerness in fact the opposite! Just how much do they think I can cope with on my own? That issue has now been resolved, but it took a tearful mum for it to be resolved. And of course I'm under scrutiny, why didn't I ask more questions... er cos I knew that the surgeon had a humungus clinic to attend to and today was not the time to start going into gruesome details. To hell with them, I'm more than doing my bit if I can be allowed to blow my own trumpet a little.

I did finally manage to get thru some much needed boring stuff, like paying a few bills... picked one up and realised it should have been paid last week! Ooops, ah well, thank goodness for automated paying... now just need to get on cheque in post and all my admin stuff is over for another month.

Yesterday i spotted the new meerkat ad... oh it made me chuckle, now Aleksandr has colleague, Sergei, hee hee... just the tonic I needed. Mind you my friend will have to step up to the plate and organise a Sergei meerkat! It gets even more silly on the meerkat site, sergei has a photo album, Aleksandr has put up his family album... someone at compare the market is having far too much fun methinks!

Also enjoyed Deal or No Deal tonight, dunno why, contestant was as mad as a hatter, but he went away with 40 grand. Funny how it works out, those you think are really deserving invariably end up with very little, tho tonight's contestant did deserve his money, a loving father and a true family man, you just knew that his family meant everything to him.

Oh well best wait to see what life is going to chuck at me next...

Ugh it's Monday!

Definitely had that Monday morning feeling today, yes it is Monday but I've got out of the habit of feeling miserable on this day. But today I had to be at the physio department for 8.50, that meant trying to get thru the rush hour. Didn't even want to go, just felt it would be a waste of time. Doc last week said I could use the gym equipment to build up the muscles, mmmm, that is what he said last time and I never got anywhere near the gym, in fact I never saw anyone use it. And today was the same, saw a disinterested phsyio, who knew nothing about me, chose to spend all of my appointment reading my notes, well those he could find. Then he argued with me, said there was no reason for the knee to be this weak... er it is my knee and I know JUST how painful it is, plus he was contradicting the consultant. My mum also used this particular physio department, they kept telling her that she didn't need a hip replacement... when both her GP and two consultants said she did. One of the physio's actually told her she had a hernia in her groin! So I have no faith in them, only one physio has ever helped me and that was for my back, she was also a trained chiropractor. She sorted me out by showing me how to exercise my back, and keep all the core muscles in good shape, she never promised me a cure, just how to manage it. She was great. The rest since have been total rubbish. So fifteen minutes later I was heading home, nope, never saw the gym, did as but got told it wasn't necessary. Got the impression that the physios preferred to sit round chatting than work with patients.

So cheered myself up by finishing off my bookatrix card that I started yesterday. I did pop back to the show, well had to make use of the free ticket. Got a real bargain at a paper/card stall, two large packs of pearlescent card and a pack of A3 hammered cream card for a tenner! Then went and got the bookatrix board, was tempted to spend more at the stall but resisted. Oh I know most would have just spent money, but I've done that in the past and ended up with stuff I then never use.

Bookatrix, well I looked at a few videos of how to use the board on line, then had a bash myself. Found it a bit hard at first to find the guide lines, but had a few practices at it, then remembered to rub the back of the card with a candle, which made life a lot easier. Wasn't sure which of my embossing tools was the right size as none have a size on them! So it was a bit of guesswork. But finally I got there, see result above! This is my take on bookatrix, I don't like overly ornate cards I'm afraid, just not to my taste. So this is I guess understated in terms of bookatrix, but who says it has to be all fancy? The top layer is from the glitter girls mythical and fantasy collection, which you can find on their website.

And what cheered me up? Saw the new meerkat ad! LOL!!

In-laws!

Who needs them and do have to get on with them? My SiL today suggested I get a new car, well it was more than a suggestion... first I couldn't care less about cars, as long as mine gets me from a to b I don't care. She made the remark when she saw that mum's stroller only just fits in the boot, and my SiL and brother want mum to get a larger stroller, a 4 wheeled one with a seat. Such a beast would not fit in my boot, and nor would I be able to get it in. I can just about manage the 3 wheeler, and oh it was so nice of them to watch me (on crutch) put mum's stroller in boot! She banged on about it only (only!) costing me £100 a month! Where does she think I would get that sort of money?

Had a count up of what I had left of my craft money, £40! Yippee, tho I was determined not to go mad yesterday, it is too easy to get carried away and start buying stuff for the sake of it. So I'm off back tomorrow, need the bookatrix board, and after that I'll see what takes my fancy.

Did do some crafting, made a few more of the blonde (as I call it) decoupage, couldn't resist this one - me at my PC, well except I'm not blonde! And a few fairy cards from the LMC mag, may put one into the comp. Got a few photos to print off for some scrapbooking. The weather next week isn't looking good, so I won't feel guilty for staying inside. Hate to be in when the weather is sunny. My knee appreciated the rest today, it gave me some jip last night, boy was it complaining.

Need to send off the cheque for my weekend away, my friend has booked the hotel, it looks very nice, has a spa, sauna and pool. We may just prise ourselves away from the bar long enough to enjoy some of it, or not! LOL. It can't come soon enough.

Well the sun is shining, we have a lovely evening here. Hope you're all having a lovely weekend.

One sore knee, lots of goodies equals:

One happy me! Had to make a few pit stops to rest the knee, but had a lovely time wandering around the craft fair. So much stuff and so little money :-( Tho I didn't spend it all as after 90 mins I had to call it a day, and a lot of that was spent resting. But I got a free ticket for Sunday, so may go back and pick up a few more bargains.

Got some practical things, like photo glue, 5 tubes for a tenner! Was very happy with that bargain, and same with the 12x12 album for £6.00, a papermania album too. It is a lovely purple colour, with a suede effect material. Put a pic up of one the mystical decoupage kits i got from the glittergirls, it will do perfectly for a friend of mine whose birthday is coming up. Also picked up a score board, have been meaning to get one. Got a pack of shrinkles, so I'll be cancelling my order with that on line store, who still haven't sent out my order! Last time I ever use them - humph. And packs of pearlescent paper, 10 for £2, a bargain in my book. Saw tons and tons of clear stamps, figure they must now be the latest rage.

Ooh, on that note, Cazzy re the stamps they're from Hero Arts and are called clear stamps, loads of places on line sell them, there are a few other sets as well. The stamps say:

Spread sunshine; appreciate what is; see the flowers smiling; the best way to
your future is to create it; some moments are worth holding in your heart
forever; you can be anything, be yourself; make your own happiness; you
made my day; love you; you make my heart happy; One of a kind; Thanks;
True; find joy every day. Smile, laugh, giggle.

All can be mixed and matched. I think they just add a nice finishing touch to the card.

But I'm also annoyed with myself, I should also have got a bookatrix board, cos the above decoupage is bookatrix! Tho I've just persuaded my graphics program to make up a template...

Also got some 12x12 papers, all a bit 'in your face' but they'll come in useful for something. That was the only disappointing aspect of the fair, not enough scrapbooking stuff.

Going to have a play with the stuff tomorrow :-))

Finally....

The social have okayed my claim for ESA, which I made on 18th March! Mind you the inefficiency does not surprise me as the letter is diabolical, two paragraphs have been repeated, it is full of spelling mistakes... grrrr that is a pet hate of mine. Computers do have spell checkers so there is no excuse. So I'm solvent again. And best of all work owe me some money as they've deducted too much! Oh goody, cos I'm going away for a few days next month.

In meantime I have a craft fair to look forward to! It's being held at Aintree, I went last year and got lots of lovely stuff. I've got some money saved up so I will be able to splash the cash.

Not had much of a play with the LMC kit, here is one I managed to make earlier in the week. Also used my quote stamps, so glad I bought them, even if it was by mistake! Well I'd thought the price tag said 4.99, in fact they were 14.99, but they've been worth the expense. I took one of the dusky pink cards, cut out a semi circle, layered some glitter paper, and then cut some acetate, then attached the metal flowers with brads, and stuck the fairy on to the acetate. Think it works quite nicely, oh and stamped onto the acetate, for that I used the stayzon ink, water based inks are too slippy, but the stayzon is sticky.

And a tip if you are using cling stamps. If they're small, place the stamp you're using in the centre of the acrylic block, then (if you have any) place some smaller stamps in the corners. This helps when stamping, it stops you rocking the block and smudging the stamped image.

Well will be back tomorrow, with news of all my purchases.

Feeling Blue!

Phew, had a very tense afternoon yesterday... 2 hours of football and then it all came down to penalties. I'm exhausted. The blue half of the city will be in seventh heaven, and hopefully we can lift the cup!

Did manage to do some crafting, with the LMC stuff. Made 3 cards before the start of the match. I did enjoy Fergie's dance!

Had a rude awakening this morning, suddenly remembered that water company were coming to switch on meter. They insisted they needed to gain access to property, wouldn' t listen when I said that the meter was already installed.... and needless to say stayed in all morning and they didn't come. Got a phone call just before one to say engineer was on his way, too late as I had to take mum to clinic. But luckily the engineer still came, and of course all he had to do was switch on meter.

Bad news at clinic, mum's infection is worse, think it is the same thing she had last year which was very serious. They wanted her to go straight up to hospital, but she refused, so we went to see our GP. She's not sure why she has the infection, but I did some research and this thing can keep coming back. Just when you think things have turned a corner then it all goes pear shaped again.

No longer naked...

My meerkat that is, far too chilly in this country to go naked. My mate sent me the clothes for my aleksandr, I swear his nose went further up in the air once I'd dressed him. But he does look very grand... Not sure which one of us is the most bonkers, her or me, tho i seem to recall it was my daft idea for her to find someone to make the smoking jacket and cravat - and so she did!

Just like to thank those who commented on the last post, it was a depressing post. But your words mean a great deal, today is a new day and I shall try to keep as upbeat as I can.

And when I woke up this morning the sun was shining, that always makes a difference. I hobbled off out for a walk, I am the opposite of those toys that gather pace if you put them on an incline, instead of gathering speed, i get slower. I started off at a decent pace but by time I'd got to end of road I'd slowed right down. But I am getting over some fears, one was of crossing a busy road. At the end of my road is a very busy road, which never held any fears for me. I tackled it the other week and survived, so did the same today. Just makes for a different walk, different scenery. Mum asked me, oddly, to take in a ring she wants to be repaired, thought it strange that she had suddenly remembered this broken ring. So took to jewellers, met lovely young and very helpful young lady, the type that makes you feel proud of todays youth. Then tottered along to another shop, well known.... to buy a new dressing gown, and was confronted by the opposite end of the scale - in youth terms. I don't think either meant to appear unhelpful or truculent, but that is how they came across. I think they were both just awkward and a bit shy, in spite of one having vibrant green hair.

So back home, lunch and then tackled the housework. Well the other choice was to craft, but the flat was a tip, and mum had gone out, so perfect time to clean. It would be nice if she pitched in, even some vague effort would be appreciated. But she seems oblivious to the mess. But it is now nice and tidy. No chance of going overboard, just do what I have to.

Tomorrow will be a tense day, Everton are in the semis... please let us win!

Oh and had a surprise, a postcard from my brother, enjoying his Easter break, it would have been even better had he told me he was going away!

Well long may the sun shine.... makes the world a much happier place.

Bummer of a week

It has been a sad week, three of my friends have lost loved ones, a father, partner and mother. All have already endured so much, you wonder where the fairness is in this world. One friend lost her mother just before Christmas, now she has lost her father. She's putting on her usual brave face, but the pain is plain to see.

Then you look around, glance at a newspaper and you see the opportunists... they make me so damn angry, how they bleat on about suffering trauma - I wonder if they know what the word actually means? Or is it the cynic in me, that sees such people seizing an opportunity, I hope they realise that by making a claim they will stuff up their state benefits. It just leaves you wondering about the justice in this world, not the legal justice, that is well stuffed, but karma - why do so many good and decent people end up suffering so much?

My neighbour who died suddenly and unexpectedly last year was a good person, she never did anyone any harm, cared for her family, and her friends and yet... why was she taken so suddenly? Why does it feel like the miscreants prosper?

I keep wondering what is next in my life, just have this overwhelming feeling that there is unfinished business that will be finished this year. We went thru so much as a family, not just last year, but it seems for the last 20 odd years, ill fortune seems to have come our way.

I have no idea how I pick myself up every day, but I do. Yes, I get annoyed with my mother's constant moaning, really annoyed. She cannot see what there is to be grateful for, if only she would, if only she would see that all she wishes to achieve is up to her entirely. Today for examply she said: when will I be able to walk normally! Well I saw her walk, unaided, two months ago, all due to the efforts of a wonderful physiotherapist, who invested so much time an effort into my mothers recovery. My mother just won't make the equation, that if she does her exercises, if she makes a real effort, then she will make some progress, that and having her other hip replaced. Which was always the plan, tho she now refuses to agree on this. But then she has forgotten so much, where we keep stuff, even day to day I have to remind her how to use the phone, where we keep things... I find it depressing, and find myself getting angry. More angry at the loneliness, that all the promise of help has so quickly evaporated. I half expected it to, but did, foolishly, think that when I suffered my own injuries that my family would come good. Boy have I been disappointed.

My mother's stubborness will lead to her demise, her left hip is shot, just about bone on bone, and the only cure is a hip replacement. If not, then it will be a wheel chair.

Nah, this is not stuff any of us wish to think about, but it happens, life happens when you are busy making your plans... never count on the furture...

Just live for today... and live for this lovely weekend.

Got a leaky sky...

Had one of those grizzly grey days, it kept on trying to brighten up but never quite succeeded. I somehow managed to have a lie in, 9.30! But the grey and drizzly weather put paid to my plan for a walk, still tomorrow is supposed to be better, fingers crossed.

Had to take mum to the hospital, and blow me they had changed the drop off zone outside the fracture clinic, as in they'd done away with it! Managed to drop mum fairly close, then had to go find a parking space. Funny, last year I never had any problem with parking, but this year it is positively manic. As usual we had to wait, then off to x-ray, then back to clinic, luckily we'd only just sat down when mum was called. She was worried about this infection, found out that she'd forgotten to tell nurse to swab it. So consultant had a look, and agreed it needed to be swabbed, and he needed to know what type of infection it is. Think he is a bit worried, whatever is going on it is all happening on the inside. He mentioned that he may have to wash out the wound, which would mean mum going back into hospital - not what she wants. I tried to make it sound better by saying it would just be an overnight stay (I hope!). Then he said he'd try some anti biotics, a stronger dose, have a feeling it is the same infection she had last year, which was very serious. Saw the x-rays too, her right hip is shot, it is bone on bone, and she won't even think of having it replaced. She thinks stronger painkillers is the answer, they aren't, so we'll have to wait and see. But she will end up in a wheelchair if she refuses the operation, and that means her not staying in this flat, a first storey flat is hardly ideal, plus I can't manage any lifting or stuff.

The doc had a junior, junior with him, in fact the young man looked more like a school boy! Tho he was fascinated by mum's case, then the doc mentioned me, and my problems, think we were then getting into the ridiculous... we are kind of famous in the hospital, mum for all she went thru and then me having my accident. He did ask me how I was, but I decided I'd wait to give him the depressing news about the wires... not sure if it is he who is jinxed or us.

So no time for any crafting :-( Hopefully I can get out for a walk tomorrow, then come back and craft in the afternoon. And it is craft day! So a few shows to look forward to.

Wot is a blog?

A friend asked me what a blog is, I was a bit stumped, a place to go waffle? To share, rant, opine about whatever takes your fancy? A snapshot of someone's life?

My snapshot is: spent morning at supermarket going round in ever decreasing circles as I kept forgetting stuff, because I wasn't bothering to look at list. And of course it was full of people who were either verrrry slow, couples usually, to whom the weekly shop must be the highlight of the week, and others using it as a gossip shop, so blocking up the aisles... why can't they go have a coffee and natter in the coffee shop? And also a plea to the checkout assistants... I am sick of having to try and pack my bags at double speed, bring back the conveyor belts! I've decided that next week when I get asked if I want help packing I'm going to say yes, I could barely keep up with the assistant today. And what bugs me even more is that I lay the stuff out on the conveyor belt in a system, heavy stuff first, so why do they then start picking out the fragile stuff like eggs... I do not want my eggs at the bottom of my bag.

But by the time I departed, the sun was shining, odd cos on way in the rain was falling. I love the British weather, you have to go out dressed for all four seasons! Then got stuck behind chap who obviously hadn't realised that he was driving a fast merc... why have a fast car if you ain't going to use it properly? Do NOT tootle along a dual carriageway, oblivious to all around you. It just drives me nuts, those who once inside their car forget that they are not the only ones on the road, and who drive on motorways at 40 miles an hour - why!

At least my LMC mag arrived, but no sign of my order from the er, unnamed craft shop... they said 3 to five days for order to be completed, they've now had 10 days! Will not shop there again. Like the look of the LMC stuff, not had a proper look, just a glance, will have a play tomorrow.

Ain't time flying?

That's how it feels, as if time is on fast forward, I mean we are in mid April already!

Another early start, had to take mum to the clinic to have her dressing changed, next week she has to go every other day. In meantime I get to play nurse, as she came out with loads of dressings. No sign of the family either, out of sight out of mind it seems.

But postie brought me a nice surprise, my QVC kit arrived. Right now QVC is my life line concerning crafting. I may have moaned about their delivery system, but it has improved big time. Can't remember what the kit was callled, but I've decided to call it 'blonde moment's, it is a decoupage kit and is really funny. I made five cards in one afternoon. Also used some papers that came free with a magazine, they blended perfectly with the cardstock. I'll make up the rest and see what the TSV is on Friday, then I think I should be ready to go tackle a craft show!

Also got a carer form to fill in, but this is all about what I need to help me cope. Nice to know someone is thinking of me.

Now just waiting for my outfit for my aleksandr... photo I posted was my friend's smartly dressed meerkat. We're both trying to think up more outfits - LOL.

Not a bad day, knee is a bit sore, not sure why, it just does that, is okay then decides to complain a bit.

More crafting tomorrow, also did some scrapbooking at the weekend.

It's Aleksandr

Yep, it is him, or a take on him! Amazing what you can do with a bit of stealth. Yup, he is available for orders, no price as yet, but just leave a message if you are interested.

He is soooo cute with his outfit. My friend and I were discussing other possible outfits, guess the sky is the limit. But we are wondering if there is a Mrs Aleksandr?

Been lovely here, weather has been fantastic, wall to wall sunshine, sadly I am not able to take full advantage. Mum moaned a bit, wanted to 'do something' I said: what? And she realised that her options are limited. I'm not the type to go just sit somewhere for an hour or two. I need to be doing stuff. That leaves me annoyed with my family, in particular my brother, who is only a mile or so away, why can't he suggest taking mum somewhere? Would it kill him to invite her up to his house for the afternoon, to spend it in the sunshine in his garden? It is just too involved for me, mum needs her stroller, which is not easy for me to get in an out of car boot, she can't walk far, and also we are largely stuck with each other. I' ve got friends I can go natter to on internet, phone and face to face, but mum has relied on her sociability, her getting out and about, just nattering to strangers. I wish she would just settle on something to go do, anything that will spark her interest. And for the rest of the family to start pulling their weight.

I did at last settle to some crafting today, all scrapbooking. Did two pages, they came together so easily. That rarely happens, but it did today, all the paper I plucked out of my stash went together, it all just fell into place. I will take mum out tomorrow, well in our predicament, her on her stroller, me on my crutches, we will keep folk amused. But please folks, if you see anyone struggling, then please do offer to lend a hand. I have given up hope of anyone lending me a hand as I struggle to get mum into the car and then her stroller into the boot...

Hope you've are all well and truly stuffed with choc and have had a good Easter.

It sucks...

Life, well it sometimes sucks. Just heard from a friend that her father died last night, she'd only lost her mother at Christmas. Neither was unexpected, but that doesn't lessen the sense of loss or grief.

Spent morning in GP's surgery, mum decided to go get wound checked. So I went with her, well seemed more sensible to go if she had to get a prescription filled. We waited nearly an hour after her appointment to see GP. I figured the doctor was either giving everyone a thorough medical, or he was a locum, I was correct, he was a locum! Very nice, but slow. And he wasn't familiar with the system either. I do think it very bad for all 3 doctors at our practice to go off on holiday at once, and leaving the place under the auspices of a locum. Anyway he arranged for the wound to be swabbed and tests done... but that also makes me wonder what these medical centres are for? Ours has a nurse, but if anyone needs a dressing changed, blood drawn they are sent to another clinic! Why? Why can't these things be done on site?

Then decided to give PC a spring clean, as in downloading new drivers, patches etc, running virus check, registry check. So that took me all afternoon.

Think I'm avoiding crafting, just not really in the mood. Maybe tomorrow. Strange, normally I'd be looking forward to the Easter holiday, 4 days off, but it means nowt to me.

Pic is of a fat page entry, think I'm getting the hang of them! And very apt since it is all about chocolate!

Not a bad week so far

Well weatherwise it has been typical April, sunny and showers, tho the showers have been light and infrequent. Quite warm too.

On Tuesday I decided to go register as a carer, at our carer's centre. I met a lovely lady who took all my details, and gently reminded me that it wasn't about mum, but what they could do to help me. She was so nice I was almost in tears. So i got a lot sorted out, plus some stuff for me, some reiki sessions and a taster course in holistic treatments. Well I am hoping that I have got a place on the latter, the woman who organises them is off this week... so crossing fingers! But I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I hadn't realised what was out there.

Treated myself to a nice kit on Tuesday, spotted a very humorous decoupage kit on QVC, just couldn't resist. Nothing else took my fancy. Disappointing news as far as my order for shrink plastic goes, 3 days after placing order the internet shop I ordered it from, get back to me to say my orders aren't in stock... what it took them 3 days to discover that? They said I could ask for what was in stock to be sent, but could I figure out their silly system, could I heck. It was frankly ridiculous, more suitable for a large company and not for a small internet firm. They shall remain nameless, for the time being!

But I had a tidy up in my bedroom and found two sheets of shrink plastic that I still had. Plus other stuff that I unearthed, and rubbish that can go to a better home. Well rubbish to me, but good for others, my colleagues at work are loving getting my craft cast offs!

Must get down to some crafting tomorrow, have been getting far to absorbed in online jigsaw puzzles - they are very addictive. Only found one site that satisfies me so far, a couple of others I tried were rather strange in operation.

Got to just mention the flock powder, I don't think it is the flock, but the stickers, they are er, not very sticky. I may try them with better 2 sided sticky peel offs, see what result I get.

Happy Tears

That was how a friend of mine described how she reacted when she received the FatPage book our little group had made her. It was such a lovely expression :-))

I'd not made a fat page book till I was asked to contribute a page for someone on PCJ (Papercraft Junkies). That got me thinking, so I then asked everyone in the craft group I belong to if they'd like to do the same thing for our group owner. The theme was simply Thankyou, but curiously we all seemed to follow a similar colour theme, pinks and purples.

This is a pic of the front cover, I made it using a fancy edged mat card, then embossed a butterfly on to some pearl card, then added the glittery letters. It was hard keeping it all a secret.

Think I'll have to make another for a friend who is serious need of a cheer up.

Weather has picked up, lovely sunny days again. Must try and get out for a walk tomorrow.